Journal 5/7/22

I just realized… that I lost my sense of gratitude.

So many things going on, and it’s difficult to have a grasp of everything all at once. I get that. But man, I cannot believe that I lost gratitude. I cannot believe that I did that. I know with everything going on, that is going to be the key to my success, but I lost the key.

Last night was something else. I know that it’s something else because God always sends messengers to my life and having these messengers remind me to bring the highest version of myself to play every day, not any other version.

The person that has gratitude wins the day. The person that loses their gratitude loses. Period. That’s it.

Last night, I was driving and picked up someone from my neighborhood to go to a place 30 mins away. Not the end of the world, and it seems like it’s just another ride. But we started talking about everything, me telling him all of the things that I went through, he told me how he learned lessons from Warren Buffett and what NOT to do…

A whole lot, and sharing a whole lot of inspiration. He said I was awesome, and quite frankly, I knew that I was different, in a good way. I knew that I was different than I have what it takes to make it big.

And he said something really interesting… “You’re great.”

I think I took it in as a father figure speaking to me, and I definitely took it as my dad saying that to me. I didn’t really know how to take it, and I didn’t really know what to do about it.

With tears in my eyes, I just left it at that.

I dropped him off, he handed me a HUGE tip and walked into his home.

I sat there, didn’t know how to take it all in. Started driving down the hill from his place, and I guess that’s when it all hit me.

I lost my gratitude for the last few months, and I was just working to be working. Not working to fulfill my why, not working to fulfill any purpose, but working just to work.

There’s a reason why I am doing what I am doing, and there’s a bigger reason why I am working the way that I am working, and I get to remember that. I get to keep my focus on that mountain top and take one step at a time to get there.

I get to remember that I am doing this to retire my parents, to get my little brother to do what he wants to do, to make sure my children are living the life that I couldn’t live, and to make sure that the next generation of human-beings is way better than where I am.

And I get to remember that every day. I get to keep it with me every day.

Thanks for the ride. Not because you drove, but because you give me the drive.

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