3 Times That I Learned the Hard Way
I’m going to tell you some stories so you can learn from my stories instead of your own experiences.
I wish I had those stories when I was going through difficult situations
So here are 3 times that I had to learn the hard way — through my own painful experience.
- You don’t need a textbook to learn a new language.
So when immigrated from China to the United States at 12 years old, the first thing that my dad told me to start MEMORIZING is a dictionary…
I naturally asked if he has done it, and of course, like any normal person, he said no.
Why did he want me to do it? “You’re in school and you are going to need vocabularies.” “Because you don’t know any English.” “Because you need to learn.”
Okay, sure. Never hurt to try right?!
I don’t think I can ever pick up a printed dictionary without being traumatized…
So I never memorized that many words from the dictionary. But when I speak English, people can’t even tell that it was my second language!
How did I do that, you asked?
I did it by doing the following:
Find a few friends who are fluent in Chinese and English, had them speak English to me, and I reply as much as I could in English. If I couldn’t do it, I would reply in Chinese, and have my friends translate, and I repeat after them.
I got lucky as well because the middle school that I attended hired a teacher to teach us English, and he was REALLY patient with us.
So through this process, repeated many many times, I picked up a new language that I had no idea how to say within a year, and without an accent because I learned from people who did not have an accent.
You can apply this to any new language that you are learning too!
2. You are NOT alone, even when you feel like you are.
I know that you have felt alone before.
You feel like no one understands you, no one has been through what you’ve been through, no one can ever feel the way you feel…
And all seems hopeless, and there’s no point talking about anything that you are feeling because no one feels that way, and no one can connect with you anyways…
Before I go any further… I need you to know this fact:
You are 99.9% identical to any other human being that you have ever encountered.
So stop thinking that you are the only person feeling the way you feel because 99.9% of the time, at least 1 other human being has felt the same way before.
That’s why I love group transformational training. One person opens up about their pain, and many others instantly empathize with that person. It is absolutely amazing to see, feel, and experience.
But I wish I knew these or experienced these before my period of depression…
I didn’t just feel alone… I was also lost, confused, and extremely sad.
I felt like the world was on my shoulders, and I need to get myself a way out. I felt like I got to make sure that I take care of everyone around me, and I get to make sure that people are well because of me.
I had thought that I was the only person that can do this, and no one else even knows what this is about.
When I first participated in a transformational training, at least 2/3 of the room felt the way I felt at the moment — depressive, sad, angry, and emotionally constipated.
I was in the front of the room sharing, and I immediately feel a sense of relief, a sense of belonging. I am NOT CRAZY! I am NOT ALONE!
And this also leads me into the next lesson…
3. If you want to go far, go with a team.
I had thought I was the only person that felt that way.
But not even flipping close.
So if people can share your pain, they must be able to share your goals as well!
Before I understood that point, I had started 2 online businesses and completely FAILED. Failed so hard that I didn’t know what else I could do to even start a business.
But the failure was not really a fact, more like a feeling. The feeling of being a failure had stopped me from progressing.
Until I found a few teams that really got me through the difficult time.
A team that pushes each other forward, has each other’s backs, creates accountability that no matter what the goal is, we are going to get them done all together in all areas of health, business, relationship, and spirituality.
A team that learns together, that grows together, that helps each other in business, personal development, sales, and tactics that level up my income.
A life partner who is more than willing to support me in anything that I am doing, and who I can support no matter what she is doing.
And that is when I realized the power of a team. Yes, I might not be able to go as fast as I like and go at the speed that I think I can handle. But the growth is absolutely firm and steady. Long term game is won with the team, not by myself.
Yes, there’s only ONE MVP, but it almost always is from the winning team. Take away the team, the MVP cannot win the game himself.
So go with a team. There’s tremendous power behind a team.
And those are some of the things that I learned, the hard way.
I wish I had the wisdom and the knowledge to learn those the easy way, but I hope you don’t have to say the same as I do now.
I hope you enjoy the read and hope you learned something from my mistakes.